Dogs

Next door has a large English Mastiff that gets very lonely very quickly. As soon as its owners go out of the house he'll start to howl. He's a big dog with abandonment issues.

The only thing that snaps him out of his open misery is when something or someone strays too close to his territory, whereupon he turns into a ferocious bark-monster.

When it seems like he could figuratively die of loneliness my darling or I helpfully go outside and walk near the fence to snap him from one inappropriate mood into another.

Because of his strange habits, and added ability to throw himself at the dog fence with gay abandon, I've gotten into the habit of looking next door every time I'm out in the garden scrutinising my vegetables. And no, that isn't a euphemism.

And now I'm forever grateful, because this evening I saw a dog driving a car.

Okay, that may be overstating the matter somewhat. The vehicle was parked at the time. But the border collie was sitting in the driver's seat, and his paws did appear to be at ten and two, so he could've been about to start the vehicle and put it in reverse.

I've heard people say that border collie's are smart before, but this is the final proof.

The only drawback is that I'm slightly embarrassed that a dog next door has learned how to drive a car before I have.