Bronchitis

Thank you Mr Google. You've just saved me $46.00 at the Doctor's office, although you haven't saved me any pain and suffering.

I do love the ability that we now have to Google all our symptoms, and perform a self-diagnosis the equal of many a doctor (as long as the doctorate relates to subjects other than human medicine).

Occasionally, I'll have a freak-out. Usually that comes shortly after I type anything with the word lump into my search engine, and it reassures me that the most likely option in all cases is cancer.

Lump in roof of mouth? Cancer. Lump on little finger? Cancer. Lump on elbow after whacking it hard on the table? Definitely cancer.

Not wishing to pay my Doctor a visit so soon (four days) after the last time, I put my symptoms into my favourite search engine (after Duck Duck Go) and then pondered the information available.

I had specifically mentioned that I didn't have a cold, only a cough, so the first thirteen pages were useless to me. Later I started to get to the good stuff. A cough without cold symptoms and no fever?

CANCER.

Or more probably Bronchitis which affects 5% of the adult population worldwide every year.

Not like this though. Not like what I've got. It may be unprecedented in the history of the world ever, but I think I actually have MAN-FLU.

Hold the presses. Stop the phones. Do any of those things that no longer count in this digital age. I could be front page news tomorrow. Or at least a link from the human interest section.