Sunday, 27 September 2015

Sunday Sadness

A few weeks into my experiment with career breaking, and I've started to notice a strange thing.

On Sunday evening, previously, I would start to feel a little bit sad. The working week meant I had to get up early in the morning which I don't enjoy, and although I enjoyed my job, working is just a hard thing to do.

So there'd be the sadness that it was coming along again, and there'd also be the sadness that I hadn't done enough with my weekend, or I'd done too much so hadn't really relaxed the way I wanted to.

But then last Sunday I noticed, nothing.

I wasn't exactly looking forward to the working week, but I wasn't sad about it either. I didn't find it took another hour to fall asleep, and I didn't add a new worry onto my thought list a moment before I was about to drop off.

So another week has passed. I have continued to force myself to work during work hours, and take advantage of the 'no commute required' to surf the internet before I do so.

I have safely managed to accomplish things that I needed to, wanted to, and even things I thought I wouldn't get around to for a while yet.

Then I had a weekend off, doing barely anything, because how else would I delineate my week if not for that?

Tonight is Sunday night again. Once again I'm pleased to announce that I don't have that Sunday feeling.

I also have maintained that I enjoyed my job out in the real world, but I'm starting to wonder if that enjoyment was perhaps a smokescreen for not really enjoying it but having to do it anyway.

If seeing no mood changes on a Sunday night is a true predictor of enjoying a job, then I think I've finally managed it.

Now, if only there was some way I could make this one pay...

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