I understand that some people may be aghast at the fact that I've gained a fair bit of weight over the last year. I could explain in great detail how the drugs that I take so that my brain can feel emotions again, happen to act on receptors that are located in my stomach thereby initiating a powerful hunger and act in a dual way by making my body move slower thereby ensuring that I take in more calories and burn off less calories, and altogether this results in weight gain.
Or, I could just say it's not my fault. It's the drugs.
I weighed (huh, weighed - get it?) up the situation before I went back on my SSRI drugs again, and decided that yes I would like to not commit suicide more than I want to stay a size twelve.
It's a hard choice, and one that you have to make for yourself.
Notice, I said FOR YOURSELF.
I don't know what you were thinking, Pizza Hut, when you decided that the monthly treat that my darling and I allow ourselves should be amended.
Yeah, okay, I'm overweight. I still paid $3.50 for my cookies and cream mousse, and I expected it to be in the bag when it arrived home.
I see that you've teamed up with Domino's Pizza in ensuring that I never receive a full dessert order with my pizza ever again. Well, guess what?
I can't boycott you. You're the only pizza left that I like.
But I'm very upset. Take that.